When it comes to narrowing down TV's all-time Sexiest Beast (actor or character), many factors had to be taken into account. Raw animal magnetism, the ability to regularly steal a scene, amazing catch phrases, control of props, and many other intangibles make a common man a Sexy Beast. I have to admit, there could have been many other finalists but I have chosen two. So with all due respect to Adam West, Tom Selleck, The Hoff, Chuck Norris, Guy LaDouche and others, here is the final match up:
Captain James T. Kirk VS Horatio Cane
I realize that neither of these guys wore a medallion, but hear me out. For starters, Kirk ad-libbed his lines, spoke with his hands, was an amazing fighter, and had sex with many different colored women and aliens. He brought a coy smile and an unmatched leadership to the Enterprise. 40+ years later, people still impersonate him at every chance. In my book, Sexy Beast. However, he narrowly loses the belt to....
Horatio Cane. My God, has anyone ever controlled a scene like this guy ever? Extreme close-ups, an unending supply of one-liners and play-on-words, and a sharp smirk only rivaled by the sharpness of his 1000 dark suits. The kicker however, is how his lines only seem to work after he crouches, takes off his glasses, stands back up, puts on his glasses, says his lines, and backs out of the camera's frame. His mastery is like watching Picasso or Gretzky work in 1985. Thank you David Caruso for allowing us all to live in a time of your brilliance that will be talked about in a similar breath as people who lived in the time of Shakespeare. And now, for your viewing pleasure:
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